Today, was like any other day.

The past couple of days my head has being all over the place, I've felt happy, silly, angry and sad all in one day. Aside from all this nonsense I was happy to not have the added drama of you. Well that didn't last long. But nothing ever does, does it? I tried to go along, pretending like it hadn't mattered for so long, but every time I let go for one second, you get me back, hook, line and sinker. I guess my only way of dealing with it was avoiding it, but that only lasted so long. I gave you the cold shoulder, acted like I didn't care, just as you had before when I had cared, and now that I didn't want you, you wanted what you couldn't have. And whatever that was, whatever kind of relationship it be, friends. more than friends. friends with benefits. or even just acquaintances, you wanted it. I didn't know what you meant, and I still don't. Maybe it didn't mean anything, the words that you spoke, but when I thought that I didn't want you anymore, it seemed that once again I did. So today, what ever you did, whatever you said, has got my head in the biggest mess. Today was like no other, but only like all the other ones I had let go. These are now ever so slowly creeping back to fuck with my head, and I don't know what to do. All I know is that I'm sitting here, wishing that I was with you.